Let’s ‘get rid of all this green crap’

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In a volte face that’s a surprise to virtually no one, it would appear prime minister David ‘Call Me Dave’ Cameron isn’t into all this green stuff after all, if reports are to be believed.

There he was three years ago telling the great British public to ‘vote blue, go green’, and that this Coalition government would be the UK’s greenest ever. But it’s not so much that his floral crown of midsummer flowers has slipped as, in truth, it never really fitted him properly in the first place. And even back in 2009, the Telegraph was musing on the likelihood that the Tories’ commitment to the environment was ‘paper thin’. What with all his current difficulties with green energy levies, his biodegradable headgear must now feel like a crown of thorns (How long can I keep this hat theme going? Let’s see, shall we?).

Instead, as a protest, Call Me Dave has probably discarded his headwear in the normal rubbish instead of depositing it in the home composter or garden waste bin supplied by his local council. On current evidence, it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s also dumped the bike (no more of those embarrassing cycles into work) and is, instead, showing who’s boss on London’s roads in a gas-guzzling Chelsea tractor.

In between Call Me Dave’s green campaigning in 2009 and today’s carbon-driven catastrophe-in-waiting, we’ve seen the government promote the economic and environmental black hole that is fracking, while simultaneously retreating from renewable energy (investment in renewables has collapsed while the Coalition has been in power) and carbon emissions targets.

With the pitt-bull that is Lynton Crosby leading on the Conservative Party’s election strategy, it would seem the Tories’ retreat from all things green will only continue. Which is probably a good thing as at least Call Me Dave and his chums will finally be giving up the pretence and show their true colours. In which case, don’t be surprised if he dons a straw hat, as well.

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