So what sort of psychopath would you like to be? An axe-wielding maniac? Or a captain of industry?
It’s a difficult choice, I know. But if I were in your shoes, I’d suggest the latter.
For one, you’d earn shedloads of money. So that country estate outside St Albans – the one with the gargoyles and the helipad – could finally be yours.
And you could lord it over us as living proof of the tenacity of the human spirit. Remember those dark days as a child when you had to live off cardboard and pork scratchings?
Well, now everyone else can too as you recount your spectacular rise from the council estate urchin to business sex god over and over again. You’d be an inspiration to all of us – like Richard Branson.
Be a corporate psychopath
Much better than spending the rest of your days in a high-security prison, that’s for sure. I mention that only because, being a psychopath and thus unconcerned about consequences, you probably hadn’t thought of that.
Alternatively, if you’re in the pre-riches portion of life, you can still live the dream with this Corporate Psychopath t-shirt and/or delightful mug. Treat it like your statement of intent to mercilessly use people and planet as pawns in your drive for world domination.
Buy one now. No, buy two!
You won’t have the country house, admittedly, but every day will seem like a guest appearance. No one’ll take you lightly again, will they, sunshine?
The Debtors’ Cartel – fighting back with irony